Problem drinking does not always arrive with a crisis. Sometimes it creeps into ordinary life, becoming the drink after a difficult day, the weekend habit that spreads into weekdays, or the crutch used to manage loneliness and stress. The danger lies in how quietly alcohol can become part of everyday life.
By Staff Reporter
For a whole lot of people, problematic drinking does not arrive with a bottle smashed on the floor, a job lost, a marriage in ruins or a life visibly coming apart at the seams.
There is no dramatic moment when someone wakes up and suddenly knows: I have a drinking problem.
Sometimes, it is far quieter than that.
It is the drink that gradually becomes part of every evening, the glass poured before dinner because the day has been difficult, the drink reached for when loneliness sets in, or the growing feeling that an ordinary night without alcohol is somehow incomplete.
What once felt like a choice can, almost imperceptibly, begin to feel like something a person needs.
That is what can make problematic drinking so difficult to recognise, particularly when life still appears to be functioning on the surface. A person can go to work, pay the bills, raise a family, show up for friends and appear perfectly in control, while privately becoming increasingly dependent on alcohol to relax, cope, sleep, socialise or get through the day.
So when does drinking actually become a problem?
There is no specific volume of alcohol that determines whether someone has a drinking problem. The warning signs are often found in the way alcohol begins to affect a person’s behaviour, relationships and ability to remain in control.
In an article titled Am I drinking too much?, Life Healthcare cites counselling psychologist Anneline Reetley, who says warning signs include being unable to stop once drinking has started, needing alcohol to relax or feel confident, and repeatedly trying but failing to cut back.
Other red flags, according to the article, include drinking alone or in the morning, lying about drinking or feeling guilty about it, experiencing blackouts, and facing problems at work, with family or with the law because of alcohol use.
For Sober Beings founder Gogo Bathini Mbatha, a recovering alcoholic, recognising those warning signs should not have to wait until someone’s life has fallen apart.
Gogo’s own experience eventually became severe enough to result in hospitalisation and significant health consequences.
His movement is focused on challenging the notion that someone has to reach rock bottom before they are allowed to recognise that their relationship with alcohol has become harmful.
“Why should someone have to lose everything before discovering the value of a sober life?” he asks. “Why must alcohol take your health, your relationships, your money, your work, and your sense of who you are before you are allowed to say, ‘I have a problem, and I need help’? We have somehow come to believe that a person must first hit rock bottom before their drinking is serious enough to deserve attention.
“But why wait for the damage to become devastating when the warning signs may have been there for years? If someone is beginning to lose control, if their drinking is affecting the people they love, if they are trying to stop and cannot, that person should not have to wait until their life is in ruins before someone reaches out a hand. The earlier we recognise the problem, the more there is left to save.”
That philosophy is central to Sober Beings, which describes itself as a companionship rather than a rehabilitation centre or treatment programme.
The signs may be easier to spot than people think
According to Life Healthcare, changes in behaviour can provide important clues that drinking has become problematic.
A person may begin neglecting things they previously valued, lose sight of personal goals, or withdraw from family and friends, particularly those who raise concerns about their drinking.
Life Healthcare states that early identification and preventative measures can help reduce the harm associated with addiction.
For Sober Beings, the warning signs also include the growing role alcohol plays in everyday life.
That could mean repeatedly missing responsibilities, increasingly frequent arguments with family members, financial problems associated with drinking, declining performance at work or school, or withdrawal from people who question their drinking.
A person may notice that they increasingly drink when they are stressed, lonely, angry, or sad, and then begin depending on alcohol to change how they feel.
Another red flag is repeatedly trying to stop or cut down without succeeding.
Someone might promise themselves that they will never drink again, have only one drink, drink only at weekends, or take a month off alcohol, but repeatedly find themselves unable to stick to the decision.
At that point, the issue is no longer how much alcohol is being consumed. It is whether the person still feels in control of their relationship with alcohol.
This is where Sober Beings wants to shift the conversation.
Rather than asking whether somebody has lost enough, suffered enough or damaged enough of their life to deserve help, the movement asks whether people can recognise the warning signs much earlier.